Here’s a new twist on the old battle of the bands thing. Instead of picking two bands that are musically similar, I’m choosing two bands that have something in their names in common. Sometimes its a common theme, sometimes they’re opposites, sometimes they just sound similar. It’s not as serious an exercise perhaps, but it might be fun. It was certainly fun for Chuck and I to come up with the pairings. So give it a try and see what you think. We came up with thirty some of these, so I’ll post some now and if it seems fun and generates some interest, I’ll do more.
- 2 Live Crew vs Motley Crue: It’s the battle of the bad free speech advocates versus the bad free liquor advocates. While 2 Live Crew gets points for not killing anyone and then laughing about it, Motley Crue wins on the relative strength of their music, three good albums to zero. Crue beats Crew.
- Pedro the Lion vs Def Leppard: While Pyromania was great commercial rock album, it was significantly the creative work of Mutt Lange. Pedro the Lion is also the creative work of one person, but he happens to be in the band. Lion beats Leppard.
- Boston vs Chicago: Just like the cities of Boston and Chicago live in the shadow of New York, so the bands Boston and Chicago live in the shadows of the great bands of the 70s. Of course, while they’re not New York, they’re both a lot better than Baltimore! Chicago certainly sucked worse than Boston ever did by the mid-70s, but they also did some fairly interesting stuff early on. So, on the population scale and the battle of the bands, Chicago wins.
- Asia vs Europe: Just as the world’s future superpowers are in Asia, so to the good musicians in this battle are in Asia. There isn’t anyone in Europe who can compete with John Wetton and Geoff Downes, let alone Steve Howe and Carl Palmer.
- Public Image Ltd vs Public Enemy: Now this is a tough choice. I probably like PIL more, but I just can’t argue with PE. If PIL represents real rebellion, then PE represents real revolution. Enemy beats Image.
- Queen vs Prince: The Queen might be one step in front of the Prince in line for the throne, but the tables are turned for the artists. Queen was a great band, but even they didn’t shake up the rock world like Prince.
- Pink Floyd vs Pretty Boy Floyd: I thought this was a funny matchup, but I don’t think I really need to say anything here. If you can’t figure out who’s better on your own, you’re probably dumb enough to like Pretty Boy Floyd.
- U2 vs UB40: UB40 had a few good singles, but…they were covers! On the other hand, U2 wrote songs worth covering. 2 beats B40.
- Dusty Springfield vs Bruce Springsteen: This one is cool, because it’s a great singer vs a great songwriter. Typically, the songwriter will win easily, but not here. It’s awfully close. Springfield would win this one except…Springsteen did write the Nebraska album. Steen over Field.
- Heaven vs Nirvana: The band who brought us “Rock School” versus the band who showed us what rock school might have looked like (in the “Smells Like Teen Spirit” video). Nirvana is terribly overrated, but they’d have to be a lot more overrated not to beat out third (or fourth or maybe fifth) rate 80s hard rock. The Buddhists win this one.
- Styx vs the Stones: Can Mick and Keith really compete with Dennis and Tommy? On a technical level, no way, but this is a great illustration of how technical ability doesn’t measure up to passion and swagger. Granted this would be a tighter race if we’re only looking at the last 25 years of Stones albums. Even Styx never sucked as bad as Steel Wheels after all. But Styx, for all their musicianship never even came close to the Stones output up through Exile on Main Street. Stones beat Styx.